Addiction? Love? PART3

Part 3 : His Move

She entered his house and many clothes were laying everywhere. Something she expected from a bachelor. Yet, what caught her eyes are the number of religious statues and pictures in the hall. Is he that pious? She excused herself to got to the washroom, that is when she crossed the prayer alter, it is a huge alter with all the god and goddess you would find in a general Indian house.

Her illusionary overthinking cap came on, the conclusion was simple; this was his family's house before they moved to another district so he has the house to himself. 
Walking back to the hall, he stood before her shirtless and looking out the window. It was a common sight to her.

She is born with many males in her house so a shirtless man wasn't a big deal to her.

Suddenly, he asked her without looking at her "Shall I open and show you?"

What the hell is he talking about? "she asked "Open what?" he placed his hands on his pants and grinned at her. "Seriously, stop fooling around, Thil"

He pushed open the door next to him. She released a huge sigh and smiled, thought to herself; that was a good one. The room looked dark cooling. He gestured her to have a look inside. She took a few steps and saw a huge cozy sofa in it, then there was a huge television. In her heart, OMG! there is no reason to go to the movie if I had this every day. She obviously, didn't show him the amazement.

Positioning herself on the sofa and placing her legs on the leg rest she felt so relaxed. He then turned on the asked her what she wished to watch. She said any song clips will do, he passed the remote controller to her and excused himself to take a shower.

Her eyes started exploring every part of the room, it was sound proved, and it's done very creatively. The lighting was a good choice as well. May not be of her choice but it works well.

A few minutes later, he was back with a towel in his hand wiping his face, he had another towel wrapped around his waist, she noticed water was still dripping from his hair as he sat next to her.

"Your hair is soaking wet?"  She took the towel from his hand told him to come closer, started drying his hair. He did as she said without second thoughts.

Why am I doing this? how come he is letting me do this? we are still stranger, aren't we? the flow of thoughts crossed her mind. She ignored it and completed her task. Once done, he picked up the remote and changed the channel to some local songs.

She didn't mind it at all because she knew his choices are good and similar to hers. Some local romantic songs started playing, she was new to it, yet she seemed to like it. He layback stared at the screen for a few minutes, they both said nothing.

A scene of a similar situation came on, the only difference was the guy had his hand over the girl's shoulder. She sighed lightly, as if he understood immediately, his hands stretched out behind her. She was looking forward to it, she moved closer to him and placed her head on the front of his right shoulder; he embraced her.

Being fresh out of shower his body was cold and she was hot, it felt perfect. Both their heart beat faster than normal but she could hear his heart beating faster every minute, to ease him she hugged him like a pillow and he pulled her tighter. She closed her eyes to sense the feeling completely. They remained that way for a few minutes and continued watching the videos and commenting about it.

"Hey, I think we should get going if we want to come back early," she said.

Yet, neither moved from the position they were in for a few more minutes. Then she slowly moved away and he went to get dressed. She watched him as he walked out the door and smiled to herself. How am I attracted to a guy like him? he is shorter than, me smaller too, definitely not the type she would choose to be with. What is it about him that makes me smile? something to ponder upon later.

She switched off everything in the room as he was getting dressed. She walked out to see him deciding which t-shirt to wear. She just stood and watched to see if he chooses the one that she likes without telling him which it was. He did and turn to see her smiling, he asked her what she was smiling at. She said nothing and turned and walked away.

***

Signature Hot Chocolate.

Signature Hot Chocolate.

As far as her eye could see only three shops were open. It was a Sunday morning and she reluctantly agreed to stay and wait till he finishes his project. She consoled herself that two hour is nothing as she has done four hours in Starbuck’s when her flight was delayed.

Balancing her things in her hands she orders “Signature hot-chocolate please, grandé.”

She walked with the hot chocolate and her bags in her hands looking for a place to get cozy. A corner table with two brown arm chairs was perfect. As she walked towards the chosen table, she glanced and did a swift count of the customers in the café. There was a couple, a mother and daughter. Far to the right an old man buried in his book.

Exactly what she would be doing, if she did not need to complete her assignments. She settled down and started reading her assignment; she scribbled marginal notes on the question paper. Every now and then she looked up, what was she looking for? She herself didn’t know? It is safe to say she was an observer. It’s not like she enjoyed what she was reading.

“Excuse me, May I?” a voice caught her attention. A tall guy stood before her asking permission to sit at the empty chair. She stretched her neck and did another quick headcount. It was crowded.

“Sure” she quickly moved the unwanted papers to the bag.

He slowly placed the tray on his side of the table and beamed a perfect smile with his perfect set of pearls. He was a Caucasian, green eyed and lightly tanned. She nodded and returned a tight lipped smile. Then she buried herself back in to her book. Not sure why she actually did such an unwelcoming gesture. Arguing within herself should she make it up by trying to have small talks? The book was heavy her wrist ached; she lowered the book to her lap. She could feel his stare on her. She gathered her guts and look back at him but he looked down at his hot chocolate. “ah- so much for being bold and daring,” She mumbled softly. She picked up her mug of cold chocolate now, took a few sips and placed it back on the table and so did he. When the mugs clanged she looked at his big hand with long fingers, there was a ring on ‘that finger’ she was convinced he was married. She took a closer look at the ring, was it a wedding band. He caught her staring at his hands and he pulled it away from the table. She pretended to pick up a paper on the table and read.

“Management Communication, nice” “Let me guess you must be a student or a lecturer?” he caught her of guard.

“Student.” She burped.

“Interesting?” he added.

“I will survive,” she smiled.

He chuckled and turned away to pick up his ringing phone. She picked up her mug while looking at him and took a sip of warm chocolate.

She instantly realized it was not hers. He did not notice. Should she tell him? He hung up and turned back to the table.

“Sorry about that,” he said and he picked up his mug. Her red lipstick stain screamed out at her, tell him!!!

“Never mind,” she crocked.

He brought the mug closer to his lip and she kept staring. “Sunday and assignment do not get along well right?” he asked.

“Ah- yes no assignment but mug” she blurted.

“Pardon,” he lowered his mug and leaned forward a little.

“I meant, I do not have a choice” rectifying her hogwash.

“Dateline?” he questioned.

She just nodded. His phone rang again; he excused himself to answer it. She pulled out her Kleenex and wiped away the lipstick stain. She felt horrible but safe. He came back. She did not want to look at him or what was going to happen next. She picked up the paper and hid behind it. She heard the sound of the fork on the saucer. She knew he was finishing his muffin. She peeked and he caught her eyes.

“I’m sorry to disturb you, do you know where the nearest ATM machine is?” he inquired.

“There is one on this floor near the washrooms,” she placed the paper on the table gestured and answered.

“Thank you, so aren’t you going to tell me?” he added.

“huh!- what?” she gasped. He knew what happened all along.

“The dateline of the assignment, when is it due?”

“Dateline is coming Tuesday,” she replied with a huge sigh.

“Wow! That was a huge sigh,”

“Oh I just realized I only have 60 hrs to finish,” she replied wittily.

“I think that’s only 24 hrs, if you minus the sleep hours,” he added with a twisted smile.

“Thanks for rubbing it in,” she returned the twisted smile.

“Sorry.” He said as he moved closer to pick up the mug.

“Where you from?” she shot a question at him.

“I am from L.A and you?” he picked up the mug.

“I am a Malaysian born and breed here,” she replied.

“How long have you been here? Do you like it here? What brought you here?” she blasted a few more question trying to prevent him from drinking.

“That is a lot of questions,” he placed the mug on the table again.

“Alright, I have been here for 2 years now. I came here to handle a project at Freescale formerly known as Motorola and I love it here.” He answered and beamed at her.

“Glad to know you love it here” she said and smiled and returned behind the paper.

He picked up the mug and drank it. He actually drank it.

“Oh Damn it!” he cursed.

She lowered her paper and saw him with a lipstick stained mug in his hand.

“I’m so sorry; I did not realize it was your mug until I took a sip. Sorry” he apologized repeatedly.

“Do not worry about it, it is fine,” she replied while giggling in her head.

“I should get you a fresh one” he offered.

“No, no I would not be able to finish it, it is ok I was done with the drink anyways,” she refused the offer instantaneously.

She felt leveled with him until he mentioned “I feel really bad for what happened.”

The guilt crept back in to her head. Should she confess now? How will it help?

“I hope you will help me clear my guilt, will you?”

“Yes, I guess. But how?” she replied.

“Let me buy you a drink another time, you pick the time and date?” he completed his sentences and she was taken aback by it. Her heart was beating fast, her blood rushing through her veins. She could hear her own heart beat. She looked down at his wedding band. How could she say-yes? He is married. Moreover, she knew she was equally guilty. He caught her look and quickly removed the ring and hand it to her on his palm.

“This is not what you think it is, take and look closer”

She took it to look closer. § KAPPA SIGMA – 2005 §, a university brotherhood band; she grinned back at him.

“I take it that is a yes, when and where?” he slides his ring back on.

“Is tomorrow morning, here alright with you?”

“Great, I am here every morning actually. At least now I have a date.” He said.

Only then she realized it was a date. Her cheeks turned rosy red. He trusts his hand out and said “I think we should know each other’s name at least, I am Richard, please call me Richie”

“Yes of course. I am Deepa, just Deepa.” It was so close; she nearly went out with a nameless man. Well at least she knew where he was from, what he does and that he is a graduate. While doing a reality check her phone rang. She excused herself and walked away to answer the phone. When she came back to the table she noticed his mug was empty. She sank in to her seat. She looked pale.

“Is everything alright, you look like you have seen a ghost?” he asked. She shook her head and told him her brother is outside and she was waiting for him all this while. She never told him, why would she.

“That is fine I need to leave too” he said.

They shook hands as they stood up to leave “May we exchange numbers, just in case?” he asked. They exchanged numbers and walked out together. Her brother dashed and stood next to her. She introduced him to Richard.

“Where did you guys meet?” They both giggled at the clueless brother.

Θ Who knew a mug of hot chocolate could turn a boring day over and start something new. Θ

LIFE IS HOW YOU SEE IT AND LOVE IS HOW YOU SECURE IT.

LIFE IS HOW YOU SEE IT AND LOVE IS HOW YOU SECURE IT.

           Every time I took a step closer, I could see him shed tears.  He need not say anything, I could still understand him. He has always filtered the pain, suffering, bitterness that life threw, allowing only sweetness and laughter to touch me. He has always been the mystery man of my life. I never lost the urge to find out what was running in his mind. If I ever asked, he would just reply with a grin, which obviously meant ‘you will never find out my dear’. As much as this irritated me, I knew that’s just him.

             The night before, we could not wait for the clock to strike 12 am. We waited with hopes and pleaded to god, just till midnight. The wait was the longest in my life. Every second was scary, and gloomy. My youngest brother was on my lap; before he slept he said “Do not forget me”. Patting him to sleep, I dozed off and was awoken by the alarm I set earlier. I woke everyone as promised. We walked quietly towards the room and opened the door as slowly as possible. Upon reaching we just stood there looking, I had to do it first; I kissed him and wished “Happy F

athers Day, Daddy. I will always love you” the others followed.

             I just knew god heard us that night. Maybe god heard daddy’s prayer too, that is why we only knew he had cancer two days before he left all of us. Did daddy know of his cancer earlier? I will never know but I know he would protect us from sufferings till his last breath. He used to say ‘life is about how you see it, love is about how you protect it’, I learnt to see life positively and protect love gently.

BREAK OFFS

If getting into a relationship can make you fly high. Getting out of one will slam you on to the bottom rock. No one will deny this fact. Unless you were never serious about it in the first place. There is no easy way to break off. No matter, who is calling for the break off, you or your partner.

Normally, either one will start seeing the path to the future clearly and he or she will be the one to call for a break off. This will be hard for the other party who is still enjoying their cloud 9. I have personally been the one with the clouded mind. I always asked, how come its so easy for him to ask for a break off after all the time we have had spent together? I have asked him why is he hurting me like this? How did his heart turned to be such an evil one? How did he turned to be so cold? I even promised never to forgive him.

Recent event made me realize that I have always failed to really see how difficult it must have been for him. He saw what I see now much earlier and decided to call it off to save both of us from long and hard misery. Calling for a break off would have hurt more than getting hurt because he has already seen how hurt I will be when he asks for a break off... this event would have played many times in his mind even before it actually happens. Every time he thinks and pictures it he would have felt as hurt as I do now.

When the actual event happens, it doesn't end there. He being the one to call the break off, will always blame himself till some kind of good event happens in my life again. Accepting the fact that I have moved on, may hurt him as well. (because it also means I have forgotten him or completely left him). If I don't go on with my life and I stay in the misery it will equally hurt him too. (she is miserable because of me)

My point here is there is no easy way to go through a break off for either party.

Why we have to go trough break offs? Well this I believe is a lesson of life. We wouldn't appreciate the future if the past hasn't tested us. Just like we won't appreciate our on car if we haven't suffered taking the public transports. It is never going to be easy and all of us have to go through it some time in our life just like having a growing up. Stop asking WHY ME AND ASK WHATS NEXT?.